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A '6' a side 'football' 'team' Waspish Waspish is an English 6 a side football club based in Devon. They currently play in the Championship division of the Torquay Sunday league run by Soccer Sixes. Waspish were formed (As Waspish FC) in 2008. Of the 8 founding members, just 3 remain. The team has unusually survived constant squad upheaval, as well as political issues, to become the second longest serving team in it's league. The club's traditional colours are black and yellow. They do not have a motto, an emblem, or a printable nickname. It is not known whether or not the club has any affiliation with the Wasp. What's in a name? Waspish has become one of the most debated team names in football history. There is constant speculation surrounding the origins of the name, with links suggested to the Wasp, the literal meaning of the word, secret code and others. Some theories claim that Waspish is an acronym. The truth is thought to be a mixture of the above, with some quarters believing it to mean nothing and have no relevance to anything. Link to Borussia Dortmund Waspish have long been associated with German football giant Borussia Dortmund. Reasons for this include team colours, playing style, and a willingness to promote youth players. In 2010, a statement released from the Dortmund management team was said to praise the "Waspish model" and suggest it was something they would be keen to draw influence from. Dortmund currently have first option on all Waspish players that either have 6 months or less left remaining on their contracts or have been deemed surplus to requirements. Newton's Finest Newton's Finest was formed in early 2012 by disgruntled Waspish players, leaving Waspish with just three players on their books. The two clubs were eventually able to resolve their differences and form an uneasy alliance, although this would be compromised in 2013 (See Transfers) Current Squad The current Waspish squad are all thought to reside in the South West of England. None of them are believed to play football professionally. The team ethic is to try to win as many of the scheduled football matches as possible, typically by outscoring the opposition. When not playing football, the current Waspish squad performs daily activities such as eating, sleeping, and breathing. None of the current squad would like to be named. As of 2016, Waspish have fielded an approximate 50,000 combinations of six players, and never used the same six more than once. Previous members Waspish have used an overwhelming amount of players in an attempt to fulfil their fixtures. It is estimated that around 37% of males aged 16-40 in Devon have played for Waspish at some point in their lives, with a further 24% expected to do so at some point in the future. None of the previous members of Waspish would like to be named. An independent study carried out in 2010 reported conclusively that players who leave Waspish are likely to develop moderate psychological trauma shortly after. Honours Waspish won the Championship title in May 2013 and were subsequently promoted to the Premiership for the first time in their history. Waspish won the Championship title in in July 2016 and were subsequently promoted to the Premiership for the second time in their history. The league Game rules The object of the game is to score more goals than the opposition. A goal is awarded when: -The ball crosses the opposition's goal line -The referee thinks that the ball has crossed the opposition's goal line As with 11 a side football, the two events described above are often mutually exclusive. For two notorious examples of this involving Waspish, see Controversy. Footballs A typical football involved in a Waspish match is size 5, of leather exterior and pumped to 84% of it's capacity. Match Recruitment Waspish spend significant time attempting to assemble a team for each weekly match. It is thought that it takes Club Administrators roughly 10 times the length of a match to put together a team to play in it. Match invitations are currently sent via the popular social media network Facebook. A recipient of a match invitation would be tasked with signalling his/her intent to participate by clicking one of three designated buttons labelled Going, Can't go '''and '''Maybe. Although club officials believed this to be a simple and foolproof process when it was introduced, many team members have experienced extreme difficulty with the task, forcing the club to consider other means of recruitment. It is believed that the options Going, Can't go and Maybe may be seen as limited by some team members, while others may object to the estimated few seconds it takes on average to open the invite and click the mouse/touch the screen accordingly. In 2017, a Waspish player created a Group Chat using the popular social media network Facebook, and after adding the previous week's match participants, enquired about their availability for the next match. The creator of the group chat, who does not want to be named, saw this as a breakthrough in match recruitment citing greater player interaction and reduced capacity to avoid match commitment. In the build up to the following match, 82% of the group had contributed to the group chat. However one player, who does not want to be named, failed to attend the match despite confirming his attendance in the group chat. This prompted players and staff to question whether the group chat was in any way a more reliable means of recruitment than the previous method. The group chat is currently being trialled alongside the traditional match invitations. However, the creator of the group chat no longer receives match invitations, having previously expressed his displeasure for them. In 2015 a poll was conducted on all club affiliates to find their favourite excuse offered by non-attending team members. The results were as follows: # "I can't make it" - 73% of vote # Large Sunday dinner - 20% of vote # Minor/improbable injury - 7% of vote On April 8th 2018, all seven first team players attended a comprehensive 15-1 win over lowly placed Sevilla Depression. This was seen by the club as a marker for the team's potential, and all seven players agreed after the match that maintaining this team would lead to increased stability and success. However, just three of the seven players attended the following week's match against high flying Fritzl Palace, despite five of them confirming their attendance via the popular social media network Facebook, with one opting for the maybe category and remaining there until the match finished. In order to participate in the match, Waspish had to borrow one player who had recently completed his own match, and rolling substitutes from a match taking place on an adjacent pitch. Waspish lost the match 10-5 and morale was said to have reached a new low. After many months of studying match attendance patterns, this was seen as conclusive proof that player availability depended heavily on the perceived quality of the opposition. Answers were sought after the match, with one player claiming that he simply forgot to attend. This prompted the method of matchday recruitment to be re-evaluated once again. The May Catastrophe In May 2012, the league was suspended due to an ongoing issue with the playing surfaces. This would last approximately 3 months and efforts to provide a temporary surface at a local park proved unsuccessful, with less than half of the teams attending their fixtures. The effects of the enforced break on the Waspish squad were well documented. Friends and family of the players reported signs of depression, aswell as erratic and wayward behaviour, with at least one reported case of self harm. It is thought that the other teams in the league suffered similar symptoms. The league resumed on the 11th of August with no recorded casualties during the break. The suspension of the league has been nicknamed The May Cat-astro-phe(in tribute to the "Astro Turf" playing surface) Landmarks In their first ever match, Waspish were defeated 7-0 by Semper Fidelis. A bottom placed Waspish team defeated high flying Torquay Taxis 1-0 to earn their first league win of their opening season. The result was particularly unusual, not only due to league standings but also that it came directly after a demoralising 9-1 defeat. (2 matches were played on this day due to fixture congestion) The match sent shockwaves throughout the division and due to the damage done to their reputation, Torquay Taxis would leave the league a week later. Waspish were defeated by Apple & Parrot 17-2 in May 2011 which is their biggest league defeat to date. Club officials were keen to point out after the game that the line up consisted of only two regular Waspish players due to more departures among playing staff and general unavailability on the match day. The team's biggest win is 16-0, inflicted on Team No Skillz in October 2016. Waspish won the last 12 matches of their Championship winning season in 2016, and the first 5 matches of the following Premiership season to produce a 17 match winning run which is both their longest winning and unbeaten streak. The biggest win in a non-competitive match is 20-0 against Pick & Mix Allstars in 2017. Controversy Following a disastrous first campaign, Waspish somehow finished outside of the relegation 'places in the Championship. Despite this, they were relegated at the discretion of the league moderators, who felt Waspish would be more suited to playing in Division One. This was eventually agreed to by club officials, though what actually followed was the club's worst season to date, drawing 3 and losing 15 of their 18 matches. It is widely believed that no team has endured a worse campaign than this since the inception of the league. Ironically, the same loophole would work in favour of Waspish at the end of their 8th season (fourth in the Championship having being promoted). Waspish finished the season in the second relegation place but were a huge 9 points clear of the bottom team. After consulting Waspish officials, the league moderators decided to keep Waspish in the Championship. Although it is a phrase not looked on favourably in the world of football, Waspish had been deemed "Too good to go down" At the end of their fourth season, (third in Division One) they found themselves two points outside of the promotion places with one fixture unfulfilled, due to Bay Pirates leaving the league a week before their final fixture (against Waspish). Soccer Sixes officials awarded the win to Waspish by default which was enough to move them up a place and back into the Championship . A Waspish spokesman was keen to point out that Waspish had beaten Bay Pirates 3-0 previously and the win would have been a formality if the fixture had have been played. Waspish played in the Championship until May 2013, when they were promoted to the Premiership. At the end of their debut Premiership season, Waspish were relegated back to the Championship despite a respectable and unforeseen 8th place finish, which was two places above the designated relegation positions. League moderators suggested the reduced intensity of the Championship would boost the instability of the club. Waspish officials eventually agreed to the relegation. Waspish enforced a self imposed relegation in December 2017 and returned to the Championship. '''Refereeing ''decisions In 2009 a match involving Waspish and Taxi For Clive was temporarily thrown into chaos when the referee initially disallowed what appeared to be a clear Waspish goal. With Taxi leading 1-0, it appeared that Waspish had equalised deep into the second half. After being beaten in a one on one situation, the Taxi goalkeeper attempted to claw back the ball before it crossed the line. The general consensus was that both the goalkeeper and the ball crossed the line. However, celebrations were cut short when the referee stated that the ball had not crossed the line. Following vociferous protests, the referee consulted the opposition's goalkeeper who admitted that the goal should stand. The goal was eventually given and the Waspish goalscorer was dismissed by virtue of a blue card for his part in the protests. The match finished 1-1 and would make up one of the three points Waspish earned that season. In a match against Barsa Lona in 2011, tempers flared when the opposition were awarded a goal from a shot that had clearly gone wide of the posts. The referee ignored protests from the Waspish players and despite Barsa players admitting that the ball had gone wide, the goal was incredibly allowed to stand. The final quarter of the match descended into chaos as players from both sides regularly appealed for goals from unsuccessful shots. The final result was 5-5, denying Waspish a famous win. The referee declined to comment after the match, which has been proclaimed as one of the biggest travesties in 6 a side football. Transfers In 2009, Waspish completed the transfer of a Fritzl Palace (Then known as Manor Inn) player. After a goal scoring debut, followed by a solid second performance, Waspish looked to have pulled off the signing of the season. However the player in question, who does not want to be named, soon reported signs of home sickness and was immediately transferred back to Manor Inn. In 2013, Waspish were the victims of an unscrupulous and infamous poaching act by a player for rival team Newton's Finest. Despite having an extensive squad at their disposal, Newton's Finest approached a Waspish player without knowledge of the club, and announced the signing just a week later. It was seen as a significant blow to Waspish who were struggling with injuries and administration problems. The player in question returned to haunt Waspish just a month later while playing for Newton's Finest, but left the club after just one season. Neither the transferred player or the player responsible for the signing wish to be named, and it is believed that neither player is now welcome at either club. The publication and release of 'Document X '' In 2009 a founding team member published a notorious article regarding the sudden exit and playing career of Jeff Ford (not real name) in which several allegations were made. Controversy erupted when the document was released to members of the public. It was initially claimed that the article was intended to shed light on the subject's shock exit from the club, while giving an insight into various incidents which may have led to his departure. However, the motives behind the document have often been questioned. Among the accusations levelled at the subject were a lack of commitment, poor sportsmanship, a waning interest in football, a reluctance to pay match fees, and inept captaincy - the highlight of which being a deliberate own goal in a match he deemed to be a lost cause. Although the subject eventually admitted to most of the allegations made, he denied that he had agreed for the article to be released. The document became known as "Document X" and was later withdrawn from public availability. '''Promotional Work Waspish have not yet accepted any offers to promote or advertise any sports related products. Waspish & The Media In 2011, a club official attempted to create a tribute page to Waspish on the popular online encyclopedia Wikipedia. The attempt was quickly thwarted by Wikipedia officials, who felt that the page would not attract sufficient visitors to justify it's presence. An attempt was then made to create the same page on Unencyclopedia, an infamous mockery of Wikipedia. However, the page was rejected for the same reason. Eventually the page was published on Wikispot, but later removed by administrators for unknown reasons. Although the entire content was lost, this was seen only as a minor inconvenience as no one had ever read it. It was later recreated under the domain of wikia.com. It is now estimated that roughly one in 33 billion people will ever read it, and considered extremely unlikely that anyone reading will ever get this far. Following a 10-2 victory in March 2016, a Waspish player attempted to interview a teammate on the match, via the popular social media platform Facebook. ''However, the interview was cut short when the subject declined to answer the second question, therefore none of the further questions followed. The subject later admitted to being deliberately evasive due to uncertainty over the context of the interview. ' Jetscarf''' In September 2010, Waspish would form the basis of Jetscarf, a short lived 5 a side football team based in Devon, England. Jetscarf contained 3 (then) current Waspish players and one ex-player. Like Waspish, Jetscarf endured a disastrous debut season in which they won just 2 matches. Also like Waspish, Jetscarf were affected by scandal, unrest, administrative problems and other off pitch issues to accompany their terrible results. Unlike Waspish however, Jetscarf did not have the staff or resources to continue playing and pulled out of the league with a match still to play. It is unknown whether or not Jetscarf will reform, but thought to be unlikely under the circumstances. Photos and videos are a great way to add visuals to your wiki. Find videos about your topic by exploring Fandom's Video Library. Category:Browse